Clinical Trial

Arn's Army wish you Happy Easter 2013

Hello, I know its been a long time. Rocky and I have been on a bit of a whirlwind these past few months, lets catch up... Christmas was an amazing time for the family. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with our church family and our Portland relatives. Our three boys, my Dad and sister Judi all travelled over the mountains Christmas night to spend the next ten days at Caldera in the snow. We have been leaning on each other more than ever and the family has grown even closer depending on the Lord to take good care of "Mom".

In November Rocky and I visited Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto and City of Hope Hospital in Los Angeles to explore a couple of promising clinical trials for possible treatment options for me. Both of these outstanding hospitals are renowned cancer research facilities.  After this road trip we felt God led us to pursue the City of Hope trial and we began treatment in January. The medication was a oral chemo pill I took every day for about 3 months. It required us to travel to LA every week for 4 weeks doing various tests and making sure I was a good fit for this study. Rocky was able to work pretty well from our hotel the Embassy Suites.   I laughed because the smell in the hotel atrium with its water feature reminded me of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland every time we arrived. But the separate office living space as well as the morning breakfast worked out perfect for us. After one 10 day visit, and once a week after that for 4 weeks I started the treatment.  We had to visit every 2 weeks after that. I tolerated the treatment well, and was anxious to see the results of my scans      in March.

We arrived with high hopes for the best results in mid March. I had 2 days of continuous tests and finally was in the Dr office, very anxious, with Rocky by my side.  We were EXTREMELY disappointed to learn that the trial had done nothing for me, in fact, the cancer had advanced and by the looks of things we were not moving forward, but, loosing ground in our fight...."He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I trust Him. For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with His feathers...."Psalm 91. I quote this scripture daily and the words came to my head as the devil worked his way in with anger, doubt, disappointment and fear!!  We walked out of that place with our heads so low they drug on the ground. Packed our bags, flew home for the last time, and were sitting at Providence a week later with our wonderful and trusted Dr Sandborne wondering what was next.

Dr. Sandborne was also very disappointed with my response to the trial. She had high expectations of good results as well. We did a few more scans and realized I needed some radiation treatments first thing. I had those that week and started a chemo treatment that next Monday. This medication is a more mild treatment then the one I took last summer. I will not loose my hair and I am believing for fewer side effects.

I must do my best to anchor myself steadfastly upon the Lord. And then come what may I must hang on to the confidence I have in God's faithfulness, His covenant promises, and His everlasting love in Christ Jesus...I am believing every day for complete healing....I believe God has promised me that....Keep praying...I love you all.. 

Patti

"For I am with thee saith the Lord..."

They shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against the; for I am with thee saith the Lord to deliver..."Jeremiah 1:9

This verse was just given to me by one of my best spiritual mentors for this specific day and time in my life. This summer and fall have been one of the most difficult times in my life. To catch you up on things.

I started chemotherapy in June. 6 treatments every 20 days. It was not to bad until about the 3rd one and then all the stories you hear about how hard chemo is, well, I would have to say I agree.  I was blessed to have my wonderful healing place at Caldera in my my home. I had friends come with me in between treatment to soak up the sun and gain my strength back spiritually and physically each month. The response after chemo was very good. The tumor was smaller and inactive. We had a celebration weekend on Labor Day with the boys. After the treatments were complete they put me on a maintenance therapy that I had once a month.

My Mother was struggling since her stroke last spring.  She had been in a rehab center for months trying to gain strength enough to come home. She was home only a few weeks when a visit to her oncologist showed her lymphoma had returned and of course in her condition she was not able to have any treatment. God took her home October 15th. Our family was gathered around her and we gave her to Jesus that day with tears and comfort knowing she was finally in heaven with her Lord.

This past week I had new scans and more troubling news. The tumor is changing shape, which indicates the maintenance is not doing the job anymore. The normal protocol would be to put me on another chemotherapy drug. My Dr. highly recommends I look into a clinical trial medicine that works very well for patients like me that have done so well on Tarceva. That is the drug I used for about 18 months when I was first diagnosed.  She has recommended a few places that the trial is available and Rocky and I plan on visiting them the week after Thanksgiving. UGH, another mountain to climb. I should be over the Rockie's by now!  I was so happy to be done with chemo and now here we go again. God's timing was perfect when my Mom passed. I was on the maintenance and feeling so well. I trust His sovereignty every day. I claim His healing every day. I feel confusion and fear creeping in my spirit and I rebuke it in Jesus name constantly. I do not understand the path God has chosen for me and I know many poeple feel that way in regards to many things in their lives.

One thing I know I am God's child, He loves me more than I can imagine. "I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation." Psalm 91:16. I read that Psalm continually and claim it over my life.  I will be meeting many more people involved in this trial, new Dr's and patients and nurses for me to share Christ with. I pray God uses me as His ambassador, a shining light in a scary place. I ask you to pray for God's peace and Holy Spirit to pour over me so I can walk in His presence every day. Sometimes we may have to wait and realize that "Perserverance must finish its work..James 1:4...and ultimately the Lord Himself is waiting to bestow a double blessing on us for our time of testing...(Streams in the Desert, November 15.....)

"GOING PUBLIC"

May 16, 2012 changed our direction once again. Rocky and I entered the Dr. appointment with a sense of  peace and expected to be sent out with the same instructions we have had for the last 14 months. Not exactly....the scan showed some changes in the lung that we need to address with a "bigger gun". The Tarceva, (oral chemo) has been very effective these past 14 months. Now we need to start a regiment of traditional drip chemotherapy.  "Shocked we held hands and looked at the screen speechless."

I have been walking in faith that God was using this pill to whack the cancer totally. More chemotherapy was not in the plans, not in my realm of possibility.  My Dr. has cautioned us all along that Tarceva usually looses its punch and a more traditional chemotherapy is required.

I believe God has a story He is unfolding in my life. These last 14 months I have felt great, kept my hair, built my Caldera Springs house, enjoyed life with cancer in the background quietly controlled by the medication and Me. I was able to share my story with who I chose. It was in my control. I know God is giving me an amazing story of His healing and grace as this journey continues. I believe He has allowed the twists and turns to only show His glory in a more powerful way.  Now, with this new treatment God is having me "Go Public..." When you loose your hair cancer walks in the door before you do..."

I truly believe that God has given me this year to build this house as a blessing to others and a healing place to be used by Him. I guess, I am the first to use this blessing for my own healing. This week was my 56th birthday. Grandma Phyllis brought dinner and my favorite angel food cake surrounded by "Arn's Army" we stand united and claiming victory!!

"Do you only trust God for the things you cannot control?" A very good question I have been reminding myself  of every day. I am driving in a car behind a semi truck going uphill. God is above me in a helicopter hovering and protecting and controlling every aspect of my journey. Knowing what the future holds and loving us more than we can even imagine.

I have recently invested in an exciting outreach to Ethiopia through my church Portland Chrsitian Center called "Petros Ministries https://www.facebook.com/PetrosNetwork.
My goal is to visit the church we planted and the widow I am supporting in November. God has so much more for us all to do here on earth for his glory. Start looking, don't miss it....

"Stamina"

I am praying for stamina in all the areas of the life right now. I need it physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am 8 weeks out from my recent radiation on my back.  Thinking I should be "fine" by now I have tackled a very busy few weeks. We moved into the Caldera House and  prepared the Sunriver house for a more active rental season this summer.

Today I had a Dr appt and my first question was, "Where is my energy?" How much longer do I need to take these pain pills? When will I feel myself again?   She reminded me how much time it takes to heal from my treatment and how I was on the lowest dose available on my meds, and how well I was progressing. When the healing is all inside the body it is hard to understand what all is happening. She explained if I had surgery or was in an accident and the injury was visible it would be easier to grasp the healing process. That helped me understand and appreciate God's continued touch. I recently heard that a runner has a drive beyond his physical strength when he can see the finish line, he can run like the wind.  I have no finish line at this point. That is very hard for me. If I knew God's timing for this journey I would rest in that so much easier. This morning in my Jesus Calling Book....perfect for me...
"Acknowledge My sovereignty by giving thanks in all circumstances" I believe that with all my heart. Relaxing and living it every day is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Give me a list I will mark everything off, done.  Give me a goal I will achieve it. The boys and I used to try and be the last people on the ski run when they closed for the day, "one more run" was our motto.  Relax and rest? Who does that?

 When you think of the word "stamina" who is the first Bible character that comes to mind? Job. Job went through years of trials, physically, financially, emotionally, in all ways he stood firm in his faith and God restored him beyond where he had been before.

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him" (Job 13:15). I am claiming that scripture for myself as well.

We have recently completed the Caldera home and Rocky and I already feel so at home and peaceful there. It is such a blessed place and I am so looking forward to spending time there with family and friends.  We just celebrated Rocky's birthday and Easter in our new home.  Central Oregon weather this time of year snows at night and blue sky every day.  There is such a clean fresh smell in the air every day. We should be golfing and biking soon.   Thank you for your continued prayers. God is faithful, I am trusting and enjoying every day He gives me.

"Good and Plenty"

Time for a little humor. I just completed my radiation treatment and am feeling better every day. I have been on various medications these past weeks dealing with the side effects from the treatments. One of which is a low dose time release pain medication I take twice a day.
Rocky had gone to bed and I had the pill in the pocket of my robe with a few good and plenty candys. You know those pink and white licorice ones.... Yes, I grabbed a few candies and with it came the pill and I chewed up a time release pain medication!! I freeked out! Woke up Rocky, called the 24 hour nurse, she had me call poison control....Ugh!!  As it turned out the medication was such a small dose there was no problems at all. Rocky and I and the boys now call it the "Good and Plenty" incident. I have since bought a locking box for all my medications and am treating them with a lot more respect!!

Last weekend Rocky and I and a crew of people moved into our new home in Caldera Springs. The most exciting weekend I have had this year for sure and one of the best ever. Just to watch all the pieces come together and sit by the fire that night thanking God in every breath for the gift He has blessed our family with this year.

2011 has been the most life changing year of our lives.  Facing the "Big C" as people refer to cancer these days. We refer to the "Big C" as Christ battling the little "c" cancer and guess who has the upper hand.  THANK you for all your prayers and support this last year. As I sit by the fire with the sun setting on the glittering snow outside my windows, my dog chewing his bone, enjoying the most peaceful place in the world, I am looking forward to see how God will use this house to bless His name...

"Walking in the Fire"

There are so many stories we remember as a child being told over and over again that were astonishing miracles. Jonah and the Whale, the parting of the Red Sea, the feeding of the 5000, Lazarus being raised from the dead, and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Do you remember the phrase, "They were walking around in the fire..." They had refused to bow down to any other God.  King Nebuchadnezzar had made a statue of gold 90 feet tall and nine feet wide and had commanded everyone to bow down at the sound of the instruments and worship the golden idol. Shadrach, Meshah and Abednego refused to worship any other God and were thrown into the fiery furnace. God sent His angel to protect them and the King saw 4 men "walking around in the fire!" As the story goes the King called them out and confessed that their God had sent His angel to rescue His servants that trusted in Him. "Not a hair on their head was singed, their clothing was not scorched. They didn't even smell like smoke!" Daniel 3:27....

I was reminded of this story in my devotions this week. I immediately said out loud, "I am walking around in the fire." Really, would we just be walking around calmly if we got thrown in a fire? I think we would be scratching and clawing to get out as fast as we could. Well, there you are. Exactly how we want answers to prayer. I am struggling every day to calmly walk in the fire and trust that Gods angel is close beside me every step of the way protecting me from burning. I claim complete healing every day. I claim coming out of this stronger in the Lord, ready for Gods new plan for me and "Not even smelling like smoke!

I have been travelling back and forth over the mountain working on our home in Caldera Springs. "Over the river and though the woods..." My suburban is full to the brim every time with dish's, blankets, art, pots and pans, books and all sorts of things for the new house.  We hope to be in by the end of February. An amazing blessing for our family. I have given that house totally to the Lord and asked Him to show me how to use it for His glory.

I am having a few more radiation treatments this next week. I have been having pain in my back that led me to ask for an mri, thank God, and they found a new spot that needs radiation. There are only 3.... I am praying constantly for Gods healing to continue in my body.  Please keep my name on your prayer list...I am not out of the fire yet, but, I am holding hands with my angel!!

PS....Spencer and Missy are engaged!!!

"

The "Star"

Well, here we are looking at a new year about to begin. I can honestly say beyond a shadow or doubt 2011 has been the most challenging year in my life.  I have faced a mountain on January 28th I never thought I would ever have to climb. I am here looking back down the hillside rejoicing in what God has done for me and how He continues to heal me and encourage others through this journey.  There are days I wonder and ask Jesus "When will I feel normal again? why?  have I done everything right? what are You waiting for me to do before my complete healing comes?" Jesus reminds me on those days to just rest in His arms and walk in His peace as He holds my hand and we climb the mountain.

We read the Christmas story this year in a few versions and again realized the miracle of Christs virgin birth. The wise men tried to understand it, explain it, and in the end just "followed the Star" in total believing God had come to earth, born from a virgin, to be our everlasting Savior.  I am learning to look at the "Star" in my own life and claim restoration, healing and Peace everyday.  Leaning into Jesus everlasting arms and just trusting. I have met so many friends that are also going through cancer treatment it boggles my mind.  God has a plan in all things.

We had all the family with us this Christmas and just concluded a week together in Sunriver. The boys all left today and about 2 hours later the snow came.  It is snowing like crazy right now and so beautiful outside.

The house in Caldera Springs is just about done and has been such a blessing this past year. I wish all of you a "Happy New Year" and encourage you to just trust and follow the "Star" in total faith that God has it all under control.

"When they call on me I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them My salvation." Ps 91 15-16